I know what I am asking forIf you have learned to ask for what you want in bed, then the above spiritual back and forth, probably does not tell you anything. You’re doing good. In this case, please humbly accept my virtual applause. If, however, you have not learned to ask what can satisfy you in sex, also ok. You may lose your words when your partner asks what you want. Or maybe he has not asked, but you know you have to talk if you are ever going to have the sex you want. There are many cases of people who want something specific in bed, but are not sure how to ask for it.
The fear that you will look vulnerable or hit your partner’s ego can be great. However, saying how you want to feel is sometimes as good – or even better – than asking for a particular action. You can become as specific or abstract as you want: “I want to feel more desirable than ever” or “I want to feel that my breasts are the center of the universe in your mouth.” Below you will find the reasons why this simple approach can be very effective.
A less scary way to express your needsSaying something like, “this doesn’t work for me” or “a little further left” may seem a little scary. Expressing how you want to feel, however, can be an easier way to talk. Many are ashamed of their sexual desires. Even if you know that you like the slightly wilder situations, asking for them can seem even scarier than bungee jumping. If you are looking for a more subtle way to communicate your needs, talking about how you want to feel can be a good tactic.
This strategy can also be extremely useful if you are comfortable with the theoretical part, but you are afraid that you may hurt your partner’s feelings. Our egos are often confused with our sexuality. It is important to be polite to our sexual partners so that everyone has a positive sexual experience. This is done in both ways.
The goal here is not to avoid what we want, to get rid of one’s ego. As long as everything is consensual, you have the right to enjoy everything as much as possible during sex. Expressing how you want to feel can make things even easier, but it all has to do with context. If you know that the only way to get what you want is to say it without gilding the pill, go free. The discussion about how you want to feel and the direct relationship with your sexual needs, give the necessary information to your partner and a roadmap to how to make it happen.
Also, are there times when you need to be really clear, either because your partner does not understand something or because you want to try? Something that needs extra discussion about consensus, boundaries and security. In any case, the search for emotions on the subject can make these experiences even better.
The tree of knowledge of sexMany do not even have the vocabulary to properly express what they want in bed. This is often in direct contrast to being able to request specific sexual techniques. It is no surprise that many are at this point, as information and education about sex has huge gaps – and – in this country. We feel lucky if we learn how to put a condom on a banana, especially if we hear the word ” clitoris “»To something that is not porn. Sex, for the most part, is considered this annoying issue, which we should not discuss openly.
After all, many women have figured out how to reach orgasm in some random way. When we are unsure (or afraid) of what we need to enjoy sex, it may be easier to describe the emotions we are looking for than the actions. This does not mean that you just have to describe how you want to feel and hope for the best. You should also try to learn more about yourself and your body so that you can discover what you like.
Roadmap sex – Exploring your sexuality
Before you can express how you want to feel, you have to figure it out for yourself. But not only. You have to learn to feel comfortable with your desires. Think about what emotions you crave during sex? How could your partner make these feelings a reality?
This thought process opens the door for you to experiment on your own. Sharing feelings about your sexuality pushes your sexuality even further. When you talk about how you want to feel, you give your partner an inner look around your sex life. This can spark curiosity, leading your partner to wonder “how do I make this happen?”.
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